9:48 AM– – A Starbucks

Now, I wait for an answer… an answer I sought out for over 5 years… 5 years… yet… it remains unclear as to what it will be... I’ve been denied of a clear answer but rather was given an incomplete answer… a puzzle lacking the final piece… one that makes me feel guilty of finding someone capable … capable of giving me a similar feeling… the sentiment that makes pain a relic of the past…. I pledged my love to her, something so sacred to me but as a human being I too have my faults… such as having feelings for another although not as strong as the ones I have for her but from my experience it is impeccably hard to strike my hard exterior and warm my heart…. yet only a few others besides my better half have done so, do they must hold some form of value to me? A value greater than the typical infatuations people tend to have? I think so but I fear… that if I continue down this path… their path then my dearest of friends may get hurt as they share the same or similar emotions I do towards them … also I tend to forget of the cultural imbalances here set on blind fervor… however, I still hold my views of passion, being towards her and only her…

I know… know for certain that she is the one… in a time of petty infatuations between the two energies, I’ve had a special bond with someone for more than five years, truly that must mean something in this day and age for someone of my age? My days and nights consists of flashbacks of her eyes and smile…those eyes…. I could never forget them… they constantly haunt me and when I finally feel as though I have finally ridden my thoughts of her unworldly aura… something in the physical world makes me reminisce of her… someone with the same name, someone mentioning her…. her reputation in this small land precedes her… I am mortally bound to her… incapable of moving on… some might say it’s a curse… I don’t disagree with them… yet it is a curse I am grateful of, for our existence together in the same time period, location and circumstances I know… wasn’t a coincidence… but rather something I, under my condition… don’t feel right proclaiming… I still close my eyes when I pass places we’ve been together or avoid them completely and If I can’t, then I stand still… be it a chair, a patch of grass or a walkway… and my thoughts on their own... focus on our past…